Christmas!!

I love Christmas. It's seriously my favorite holiday. I love the time I get to spend with my family. I love watching my little brother in his excitement. Almost every year, he'll open something and say, "IT'S JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED.......What is it?" He's so excited about giving too. He had clear ideas this year on exactly what to give people too. His gift to me? My Little Pony stuff. I'm so proud, he knows me so well! I love his enthusiasm for Christmas.

I'm so blessed to have my family.

Anywho, what was your Christmas like? Fave moment? Let me know!

With Love,
PolarBearMoose <3

Hasty Generalizations

I really hate when people include me in these hasty generalizations of things they're unhappy about. Right now specifically, my mom is doing it. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom. But see, she really likes things clean. Okay. I can understand that. But it's hard not to hear through paper thin walls that she's upset about when things aren't clean. Again, I get it. She likes things clean. But when she comments about how she's told us (the kids) to do things a certain way, for example pulling open a shower curtain so it doesn't get moldy, hang up the mats and towels, etcetera, and we haven't done it, it's a little frustrating. Because we're too "self-involved". Now I'm mature enough to take responsibility for the things that maybe I could be helping more with, but I'm pretty sure that in regards to the bathroom for example, I've done what she's asked every time. Maybe I forget one of the ten things she's ask occasionally, but not enough to be called self-involved.

What really frustrates me though is that I'm the only one of us (the kids) that seems to care enough to try and step-up a little bit more. The responsibility for compensating for everyone else seems to always fall on me. Which really just isn't cool. I'm sorry if I can't spend every second of every minute of everyday making everyone else around me happy with out going literally insane. Excuse me if every once in a while, I'd actually like to be happy myself. I apologize if I'm too "self-involved" to have done all those things in the bathroom that were asked. Since I am so self-involved, maybe I shouldn't have gone and hung up the coat that fell out of the closet (no fault of my own) because it was lying on the floor in the middle of the hallway. I'm so darned self-involved that volunteered to go out and get a separate dinner for my mom the other day because she was having a break-out in her mouth. I guess that's just me being self-involved.

Sorry for the rant guys. I'm just feeling a little frustrated at the moment.

Hope you're having an okay Monday.

With Love,
PolarBearMoose <3

Hobbit & Denny's: Round 2

So, I know I started this blog before the first Hobbit and Denny's escapade and therefore saying Round 2 probably makes no sense. But I think the title is more for my benefit at this point anyways. I mean, for those people who I know read my blog, *cough* Gregory *cough cough* Travis *cough*, do you actually pay attention to the titles? I'm honestly curious.

Anyways, where was I? Oh right. The Hobbit and Denny's. A little backstory for those readers who weren't there. Which is most of you. Last year, there was a group of people who all went to the Hobbit premiere. Now I can't say much about the movie experience. Because really, I think everybody who is reading my blog knows what it's like to see a movie in theaters. There's not much to say except you sat in a dark room watching a big screen. Now maybe it's different for some people. But for me, that's usually what it's like. Wow. Tangents. Apparently I have lots of them. ANYWAYS. So after we went out and saw the premiere, there were four of us. I believe it was RD, GI, and MH. Correct me, GI, if I'm wrong though. And I can honestly say it's one of my favorite memories of spending time with any of my lunch bunch. If you want to know more of those fave moments, I reference some in my post "To the Guys". Just FYI.

This year, I wanted to do it again. Now, I know, I know, recreating the exact memory would be impossible. Okay. That's fine. But it doesn't mean I couldn't create similar ones, right? So I waited to see The Hobbit until tonight, or I suppose last night and this morning, with all of my lunch bunch. Now true to (almost) every event I ever plan ever, not everyone could make it. Which was sad. But, I think it still worked out. I hate planning things. Planning this especially was nightmarish due to trying to cater to everyone's schedule. However! I managed to figure things out not too terribly! We joined with another group led by MW to actually see the movie. I did not expect that the entirety of the group who went to see the movie would go to Denny's as well. And so, there were about 20 of us (probably a few less) who all came to Denny's around midnight for laughter, friendship, and enjoyment.

I must say, while I will always remember the first time around with Denny's and the first Hobbit movie, this night was perfect. It wasn't at all what I expected and normally, I'd be disappointed that things didn't go according to plan. But this was better. In everyway. I know it wasn't my event (probably why it went so well), but it's probably one of the better things I even attempted to plan. I'd say matched only by bowling back in August.

To you, my dear readers, I ask, how has your weekend been? Do you have fun or exciting plans for the holidays?

With Love,
PolarBearMoose <3

Winter NorCal Gathering 2013

Well, today was the winter NorCal gathering of cosplayers and photographers. I really didn't want to pull together a Cosplay at the last minute, so I gathered together some steam-punk stuff that I already had. When I arrived in Fremont for this thing, Lauren, who I was supposed to be meeting was no where to be seen. Of course, I knew she would be running late as she had told me she was leaving half an hour later than myself. However! While I was waiting for her, I met up with Cameron and Amber, who at the last gathering were dressed as x-men. This time Cameron was Supergirl and Amber was Batgirl. I don't remember if I mentioned before, but Amber is the one who has Kryptonian tattooed on her arm.

Anywho, with all the steampunk I had, most people asked if I was from Firefly. And eventually I decided it was easier to just say that I was gender-bent Malcolm Reynolds instead of trying to explain being an O.C. As soon as I take my pictures off my camera, I'll add some in right here:

But alas! I had to leave the gathering early so that I could go home and decorate sugar cookies. I may or may not have been a little inspired by the gathering: 

Also, one of the cookies was broken in half. This was the result: 

My family has somewhat of a morbid sense of humor sometimes. I got to decorate the bottom half. Hehe. 

*sighs* Ugh. I still have so much to do. I half to make sure I stop at like 50 different places (which is probably an exaggeration, but it feels like 50 sometimes) by the end of the week. Oi.

Anyways, I'm sure I'll have more to report on things I've done tomorrow. But in the mean time, how is your weekend going? Let me know!

With Love,
PolarBearMoose <3

Cancelled Plans?

Gah! I get when people do it! Especially the making plans that sound super fun, and almost totally set except for minor details, then never getting back to me about whether its actually happening or not.  OR there's the simply not responded to an invitation period. Seriously. I get it if someone can't come. Fine. But could you at least let me know so I can plan? So I know how to plan? Am I allowed to have enough details to be able to actually enjoy the things that I do plan without being overwhelmed by stress? Apparently not! ARGH!!

In other news though (and completely unrelated to the above rant), I went to an alumni Luncheon today! It was really great seeing so many familiar, friendly faces. I think I even made a friend! Success of the day? Maybe. The jury's still out. But! I also got to see Frozen! Hooray for Norway! Also, Idina Menzel is kind of the coolest person ever. Just FYI. However, I must say that Rapunzel is still my favorite. I mean really. She's a blonde and a brunette. Plus she has killer green eyes. As I said to GI, and I will still argue now, it's like we're the same person, just....not. 

Anywho! I was making plans to see the hobbit and go to Denny's with peeps, but nobody was really responding and those who did with definite answers, old me they couldn't make it. Which is kinda super frustrating since I waited to see it with these people. I coulda seen it like 20 times by now. But I didn't. So. Yeah. 

Sigh. Please excuse the rant. 

Do you have pet peeves? Things that you can't stand when people do? 

With that I'll bid you adieu!

With Love, 

PolarBearMoose <3

Opposite of Winning

Do you ever have those days when you feel like you can't win? Like nothing you do is good enough? Like you're not good enough? Today was kind of one of those days for me. 

Today, I went to the city with a bunch of friends who are all home for the holidays. I should have been having a great day. I got to hang out with some great people, we had a great time at the wharf. Fun stuff! So why didn't it feel that way? I honestly don't know what word I would use to describe exactly what emotion was going through my head. I know depressed would be floating around in there somewhere. All I know is that by the end of the day, I wanted to curl into a ball and cry. There was a moment looking into the water at a fountain, that a glimmer of the old me, the depressed me came back through my reflection and that scares me. It scares me how easily and quickly I can go from totally okay to thinking about how easy ending things would be. I don't ever want to act on that feeling. But what if it gets worse? What if one day, that fear doesn't come and that part of me stays more than a moment? I hate living like this. Wondering when the depression will strike again. I never want to tell anyone that I'm even struggling because I don't want to bring anyone else down with me, but there are so many times during the day that sometimes I need someone to just give me a hug, or ask me if I'm okay. And unfortunately, I know that can't happen. I know there not always going to be someone there to keep me grounded. I just hope there will be someone when it's really bad. Because I don't know if I'm strong enough on my own. 

With Love, 

PolarBearMoose <3

Finals Week

ARGH. Finals week. It's almost over, but I want it to be done now. I'm done with the tests and the random papers. The only thing left is a speech for public speaking. I just want it to be done. I want to go home and take a nap. I think I'm getting sick, and I didn't sleep well either. I think my anthropology final went well. It looks like I'll have an A in the class. Thank goodness. The only one I'm really unsure about is math. Ugh. I took that one on Tuesday. I'm so glad it's over.

The only thing I don't like about the quarter ending is that I've made friends in some of my classes and I don't know when I'll see them again. Not close friends like the ones from King's, but close enough that I'd love to hang out with them again. Fortunately, I made some friends in Intervarsity and I know I'll see them around a lot, so I won't be totally starting over again in friend making. But still. I don't enjoy making and losing friends so often. Oh well. In a quarter it's hard to get that close I guess.

*sigh* I should practice my speech now.

If any of you are going through finals, then I will wish you good luck. If your finals are over, hooray! Go celebrate.

With that I'll bid you adieu.

With Love,
PolarBearMoose <3

Last College Group

Okay so yesterday, I went to the last college group at Jehaan and Julie's house since they're moving to Canada in January. Kayla suggested that we all come about a half an hour early to have dinner too and that we could bake and decorate shortbread cookies. She also generously provided all the supplies for cookies. And yes, I was sad that it was the last one, but I'm not going to talk about how sad and mopey I am. Instead, I'm going to talk about how fun decorating was! So Kayla had this acorn cookie cutter, but the stem broke off from the dough before it got baked and I guess if kind of looked like a Pikachu. And once Julie made frosting, I got to decorate the Pikachu cookie! Yay!!

Also, Laura made an orange peel and toothpick creation that looked like a boat. And she decorated one orange peel to look like water. Pictures were taken! It was really fun!

On an entirely different subject, I have this friend from my ballroom class, Guillermo, who I talk to about tons of random stuff like SciFi and other fun stuff. It's really great because we'll be talking ad not even realize that an hour has passed. And normally we talk after dance is over, so it's like 9:30 before we decide to end the conversation and go home. And I have to admit, I miss being able to do that with people on a regular basis. So since today was the last dance class (cause it's finals week!),  we both agreed to stay in touch. Plus, I think we're both hoping to take Archery in the spring (or whatever quarter it's available). Seriously though, we start talking about something and will lead to something completely different. And when we get to something more serious like politics or religion, we'll be talking and all of a sudden ask ourselves why that subject, and in his case, "Why not Furbies?" Which lead to us talking about gremlins. Don't feed them after midnight. Or put them in water. Nope nope nope! And most of the time, we're just joking around about stuff. I like being able to be so relaxed and worry-free in conversation. I feel like I've been missing that too, just being able to say something and not have it go the wrong way. I feel like I can be myself. I don't have to pretend that I'm XYZ or anything. I'm not trying to be all sad and depressing or anything, cause I'm super happy right now, but I haven't felt this care-free in a really long time. I'm really glad that I've actually been able to make some friends that I can feel this way around. I definitely feel like I have a clean-slate. Not that I need it or anything. I mean, I'm not trying to reinvent myself, but dancing is just one of those things that always brings out a much more confident version of me and I feel like this quarter, I've been able to apply that to life in general. I have a nice outlook on life and stuff.


And yet again, crazy random subject change. Seriously, there's no motivation behind these changes other than my brain just going, "ooh! shiny!" but with topics of conversation and blogging... Anyways! I realized what I like most about my church. I just figured it out the other day. Part of it is the pastor, but the other part is the people. In other churches that I've visited, I see a bunch of people who are trying really hard to cover up all their flaws so they can pretend everything is perfect. In my church, I see a lot of broken people who are just as desperate for Jesus as I am. I don't see a single person in my church who seems like they have it all together. Some may be farther in their walk with God, but even the pastor is broken and being healed. It's real people with real problems, but they're actually willing to talk about it and be open about things in their life. I guess I just really like that I don't feel like an outsider for being broken too.

Anyways, is there someone or something that brings out a totally different side of you? Or maybe it just makes you feel more confident? Let me know!

With Love,
PolarBearMoose <3

My New Desk!

It finally came!! Yay! Rather than spend my afternoon doing an essay (due tomorrow, yikes!) I spent my time building my desk. I have to say it's perfect and exactly what I was looking for. It took me so long to find one that I liked, but once I did, just wow.

It's quite a bit more "decorated" now (aka, covered in school work and stuff because I need to clean still). But I love it. I think I'm going to go out and get baskets for it next weekend. And also set up my desktop and stuff. Gah!! So excited. First time I've had a desk in two weeks. Now I can stop charging my laptop on the floor. Ermagersh! Seriously loving it.

Ooh, but guess who is officially registered for classes for next quarter? This girl! I don't quite remember if I've mentioned it before or not, which is why I'm talking about it now. Anywho, I have two English classes and a psych class and a yoga class and last but not least, a history class! I know, kind of a flip-flop compared to this quarter. Oh wells!

Ooh and, I get to go to Mexico this year!! Woot! I probably won't stop mentioning this, even after I go. Sorry, but you're just going to have to deal with it. So many exciting things happening. Yay! Anyways, that essay is kinda sorta still waiting for me.....soooooooo....I gotta go now.

Adios amigos!
Au revoir!
Adieu!
Arrivederci!

Okay no more procrastinating for me (well, at least not for the minute).

With love,
PolarBearMoose <3
 

Impatience

Gahhh! So my room has kind of been in shambles while I redecorate and what-not. I moved my desk out I my room to make room for one that my grandma helped me order from IKEA. So now, I'm just waiting for it to come. It's pretty much supposed to come any day now. I'm really really impatient about it coming though. Plus, I feel a little stuck with cleaning until it comes. Argh! I mean, there's stuff I can do, but it's hard because the stuff I I really want to take care of is stuff I need the desk for. Also, I think I want to get different bookshelves too.

Of course, cleaning and redecorating has kind of taken a back seat until finals are over. I can't wait until this next week is over. Then it's freedom! At least until next quarter. But I get something like 3 weeks of vacation, so, that's something. Also, my finals week coincidentally ends the same day that The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug comes out. Which means that I get to have my own little party of one to celebrate surviving my first quarter of college! Or at least it's a party of one until people come home again. Actually, that's a bit of an exaggeration. There are plenty of people here that I could go see it with. But I don't really want to see it with anyone else until I see it with some of my lunch bunch. Which may never happen, but I'm gonna hold out hope that I can which is why I'm not planning on going with a bunch of people. And that is why I'm planning on going by myself at least the first time around. 

I just want this quarter to be OVER already. One more week left. And, I'm pretty sure I'm past the worst week. I only have like 3 more things due next week and the rest is all tests. Two of them are on Monday and the last is Friday, meaning it should be a breeze. 

Anyways, hope your week went well. Fun plans? Stressing plans? Let me know! 

And now I will bid you adieu.

With Love,

PolarBearMoose <3

Thanksgiving Week: Part 3

Ughhhh. So much homework. I may or may not have been avoiding doing it all weekend. But really, if you had friends that were in town for the week and y'know family plans and what not, would you do homework? I don't think so! But it's killing me now. Actually, all in all, it's not that bad. Just 2 days worth of transition matrices, 2 anthropology journals, two speeches, and most likely an 8 page term paper. Baby steps though. Besides, I've edited about half of the Twilight Sparkle photos that I took in October! So progress was made today! It just took me a while to start. I still need to edit my Sharks photos from the Senators game also in October, but that's more of a personal project. It can wait until after finals.

So here's the delightful updates to end the week with. Friday, I went to this family dinner night things at one of the various churches that I've been even remotely involved in. There I saw many of my friends who I hadn't seen at college group (same church associated btw). So that was exciting. It was a potluck, and I have to admit, I really wasn't thinking that far in advance, plus I honestly didn't know if I was going to go, so I ended up bringing store-bought pumpkin pie. I know, I know, I could've done better. At least I brought something! I played Flashpoint for the second time ever. But we lost this time. We didn't save enough people unfortunately, or more to the point, too many people died in a fiery explosion of death and destruction. So there was that.

Anyways, after that fun event, I dropped GI off at his place where RP was waiting. We had a nice chat about things that had happened while we were at college and so on and so forth.

The next day, RP had a barbeque that a good portion of the Lunch Bunch attended. I have to admit, I think it was one of the best events I attended during the week. It was definitely the one I felt the most at ease at. At the same time though, I didn't want it to end because I knew once it did, I'd have to say goodbye again. And sure, it's not for nearly as long, but it still sucks. Every time. It's what makes me wish that I were away at college. I feel like if I were away, I'd be more distracted from everyone else leaving. But enough sad mopey-ness for now. I have more to tell!

I found out by strange happen-stance that RP and I went to the same preschool. Not the same teachers, but still.

The guys ended up playing Ultimate Frisbee while the girls (all three of us) watched them. And then came mischief. MJ, AC, and I teamed up to mess with their keys and wallets which they had left with us. We made sure all was sorted out before they left, so no harm done! But it was amusing to do.

I've decided. This week was not nearly long enough. And so my new time to count down for is the week after my finals. The guys, or at least GI, agreed that when the second Hobbit movie comes out, we should all go as a group to see it and pretend it's the midnight premiere.

The story behind that being, we went last year and made some very hilarious memories at a Denny's after the show.

So if we pretend it's the midnight premiere, we can all go out to Denny's again and create new memories. Definitely stuff for the scrap book.

At this point though, it's time to stop avoiding work. I've been working on and off while typing this. But now it's time for me to bid you adieu.

With Love,
PolarBearMoose <3