Thanksgiving Week: Part 2

Riiiiight. So neither the girlfriend, nor the mother came. Le sigh. Not like it makes a difference to me or anything, because hey, it means the day was significantly less awkward. Except that I had mentally prepared myself for it. So the mother had already flown back to Kansas. So she was never coming. But then the girlfriend apparently got sick. Apparently. And so she cancelled very last minute. Honestly, I think this girl is frightened by me. Which I suppose makes sense since we're practically the same dang age. But it's not like I'm gonna go all legally blonde on her. I mean so what that we're only six years apart? So what that my dad could practically be her father based on the age difference? I'm not judging. Am I weirded out? A little, but whatevs. It's all good.

Anywho, guess who saw catching fire yesterday? This girl! Guess who saw Thor 2 (finally) today? This girl!  I have I say I was very impressed by Catching Fire. I liked the way they did the arena. Now of course, movies are almost never as good as the book, and I'm not saying it was. But I really liked the way it was done. I really liked the scoring too. When I heard the Xtina song for the soundtrack, I was dreading it. I was like oh noes. How they gonna pull that one off? But the scoring was fantastic. Anywho, I recommend seeing it. Any issues that I had with this one were the same as the first one. And half my issues with the first one were almost resolved in this one. We'll see what happens in the next one though. 

And then there's Thor. Oh marvel. Now, I will admit this one was far better than the first Thor movie. Say what you want about how great you may have thought the first one was, but a two day turn around is ridiculous and quite frankly the most unrealistic piece of the storyline. Assuming that every other fantasy premise were true, that two day romance would still be the most ridiculous thing in hat movie. And I will hold to my thought that 30 seconds of video montage would have made that movie 10 times better. 30 seconds to show them building a romance. SO FRUSTRATING. Anywho, the second one. So as I was saying, it was better than the first. And that doesn't happen much in sequels. It seemed a tad busy at times, but it kept me on the edge of my seat. Some of the bits with Loki were a but predictable, but then some weren't. It's a toss up. I liked it though. Next on my to watch list? The Book Thief. I'll have to review it once I see it. 

I have a ton of stuff to do now, so I'll have to update with a part 3, but for now, I'll bid you adieu. 

With love, 

PolarBearMoose <3

Thanksgiving Week: Part 1

There are a few things going on this week that I want to talk about, and I'm probably going to make a few posts about it, so bare with me this week and we can all get through it.

For starters, quite a few alumni, specifically friends from my grade, have come home for the week, or at least part of the week. And I must say, I have been excited for this week to come since the day everyone left. I had nothing specific in mind of what I wanted to happen this week. It's not like I planned every second of every day and what kinds of shenanigans I could get into this week. I was honestly just excited to see everyone. But now that so many people are home, the excitement is gone. I've talked with a few people about this and they definitely helped me figure out the mess of emotions that I'm feeling. And I've realized, that before they came home, I had been feeling like I only had to hold everything together until people were home, then everything would all of a sudden be better. All of a sudden, I wouldn't feel so broken. I wouldn't need to hold myself together, because I'd be totally fine. And now that they're home, I still feel broken. That part hasn't changed. And I'm angry with myself for breaking down now. I mean, I'm glad that the people that I'm breaking down around are so supportive of me. But at the same time, I look at things like Facebook and everyone seems to be happy in college as though they're totally fine and moving on easily. Sometimes I see that and think I'm the only one struggling. After talking with my friend Travis, I know I'm not the only one, but I still feel like I have to put on a brave face and pretend everything's okay.

But that's just a piece of this week for me.

The other major part is Thanksgiving Day. Years ago, when Keegan was born, I made a trade-off. I knew I wanted to spend Christmas with him and watch him grow up. In order to spend Christmas with him though, it meant that I had to give a holiday to my dad. Specifically Thanksgiving. I figured, hey, it's really only one day. It doesn't make a huge difference or anything. If it were up to me, I'd spend every holiday with my mom. But this Thanksgiving, we'll be joined by my dad's girlfriend and her mother. not that I dislike his girlfriend, but it's a little awkward for me. Especially since she's 24. So that's part two.

I'll have to let y'all know how the week continues, but this is just kind of a piece of the week. Hopefully, y'all are all having a better week.

So I'll bid you adieu for now.

With Love,
PolarBearMoose <3

Books and Happy Endings

I feel...disillusioned by novels. I've been reading various stories on this website called Wattpad, and I must say, I'm sick of reading about happy endings. Which is a weird feeling for me. I grew up with every Disney princess movie out there, constantly dreaming about finding my own happy ending. Even in movies today, specifically RomComs, there's this idea that everyone has to have a happy ending. Everything has to be perfect. But it's a fantasy. It's not real. Where are the real stories, the ones where things don't always work out? The ones where the guy doesn't always get the girl and vice-versa. I want to read something new that doesn't have that. None of those over the top dramatic stories seem real. They're not relatable anymore. Things are too perfectly predictable.

And yet, even saying all this, I still root for the happy endings. I'm absolutely sick of them, but I still look for them and hope for them. Whether IRL or anywhere else.

Sorry this is so short guys. Although, considering how long some of my other posts have been, y'all are probably glad this one is so brief. Anyways, I hope you guys have enjoyed your weekend. Maybe you read something interesting, maybe not. If there's a book you like, recommend it. I'm always looking for something new to read.

So I'll bid you adieu!

With Love,
PolarBearMoose

Panic Attacks

Very recently, I started having more intense panic attacks. Not too often, but when I set one off, I become incapacitated with nausea and cold sweats. It's horrendous and exhausting and quite frankly, I don't like it. So back toward the middle of October, I talked to my therapist who recommended I start taking some form of meditation or breathing class. Which I did. I started a Qigong class at the Y. Now I've only been going a few weeks, but all in all, I've enjoyed it and have been able to for the most part get things done correctly. And I hadn't had a panic attack so it seemed like it was working. And then I went this evening. I had a panic attack in the middle of the class.

*NOTE: If you panic by reading about other people's symptoms, skip to the next asterisk

Suddenly, I felt like I had something caught in my throat and I couldn't breathe which quickly transitioned to feeling like I would be sick all over the floor. I stopped doing the exercise and stood perfectly still for a moment hoping that it would pass quickly. But just my luck, it didn't. I quietly left the room to find the convenient water fountain right outside the door. I drank a little hoping it would help, but of course, it didn't much. When I came back in, I sat behind the others who were continuing unaware. Kate (the instructor) had them continue while she came and sat in front of me and checked to make sure I was okay. Luckily for me this panic attack did not last as long as others that I've had and the nausea was already starting to fade. But, it was creeping slowly to a few rounds of switches from intense heat to cold sweat. Finally, it had seemed to pass, enough so that I could continue the exercises.

******

According to the instructor, Kate, my panic attack meant that I was touching my qi in the right way. Now please forgive me readers if I don't quite believe that to be the case. I've had a lot of stressors this week and any one of them could have led to this. The scary part for me was that it seemed to come from no where. Just all of a sudden BOOM. Panic attack. Growing up, I've dealt with anxiety a lot. And I know exactly what all my anxiety symptoms are. If it's anxiety, I can tell immediately. Which is probably really good, but at the same time, who but a person who deals with anxiety pain a lot would know that? What normal teenager knows that about themselves? Sometimes, being a crazy person sucks.

Anyways, I hope your Thursday has been panic free. But let me know!

With that, I bid you adieu.

With Love,
PolarBearMoose <3

My Weekend *UPDATED*

So, these past few days have been kind of crazy busy. Thursday, I started a massive to do list longer than my arm. And I continued that list into the weekend and even made myself one for tomorrow. I kid you not, the next week is going to be nuts. I'm really just trying to stay busy until Thanksgiving break. I'm counting down the days, so it's probably going to be a long week.

But here are some things that I didn't get around to blogging about until today:

Friday November 15th:

I went to digital photography! And got to model! I'm very excited to go back on Monday and visit a little more. And since it was a Friday, I got to stick around longer to talk to people cause my class didn't start until 11:30! Woot!

But then, I went to a camera store to see if I could get my twin reflex past this one step I was stuck on to keep building it. And they told me the spring was the wrong size, soooo, it won't work. Ugh!! So now I have to call the company and ask about it. Joy.

So I went to this Thanksgiving party thing at my dad's work, which was pretty boring since I don't really know anyone there. I left pretty early to go to my grandma's place and got caught in rush hour traffic, when my car started over heating! It took another 10 minutes for me to be able to pull into a gas station and actually do something about it. Darned rush hour traffic. Fortunately, I don't think anything was broken in my car. I think it just needed coolant. And lots of it. I made it safely to my grandma's but poor Gertie (My car's name is Gertrude) is going in for a check-up this weekend.

Saturday November 16th:

I went to IKEA with my grandma cause we were getting a new desk for my room. I'm super excited! Yay! And we found the perfect desk chair to go with it too. Score! Anyways, my grandma's never been to IKEA before, so it was an adventure to get there and walk around. Lauren met us there to help us find stuff. We'd have been lost otherwise. I found the desk, but it was order only, so we decided to do that along with the chair. We headed back to my mom's house where Lauren and I hung out for an hour before going to the mall.

It was really just a people watch experience. But I got some cool bracelets out of it! And I got to know Raz, Lauren's girlfriend, a little better too, so al in all, I'd say it was a good day. Also, I made plans to hang out with Christy tomorrow. Hoorah!

Today!

So, I have to keep doing laundry, but later I get to chill with Christy and Lauren which is something the three of us have not done in forever. Anyways, I guess that's all.

Tell me how your weekend or week has been! Maybe you have a crazy story or an awesome thing going on, I don't know!

With that I bid you adieu!

With love,
PolarBearMoose <3

------------------ *UPDATED 11/19/13*---------------------

So about Gertie. Remember how I said she was going in for a check-up? Yeah. So my step-dad decided to wait until Sunday to try to take her in. Whatevs. Except the shop was closed on Sundays. So I had to drive his car to school Monday since Gertie still needed to go in. Again, whatevs. It wasn't a big deal to drive a different car, except that my ping permit for school is a window sticker. On Gertie. So guess who forgot to buy a temp one at school Monday morning? This girl. Even better, guess who got a $45 parking citation for not having a permit? This girl. Am I angry at the security that gives citations? No, not really. Am I pissed and frustrated about my car not going in til Monday afternoon? You bet I am. And on top of her needing to go in, she definitely has a leak somewhere in the coolant system or radiator or where ever it is. Which means dear readers, I don't have a parking permit for school for probably the next week. So I asked my friend Tim where he parks, cause I know he doesn't park on campus, and he told me basically across the street, but said it was a 5 to 10 minute walk. No big. I can deal. The parking is free, and I'd rather do that than pay close to $15 for a week of parking on campus. *sigh* Anyways, I need to get back to my to do list. Adios.

Learning to Make Lefse: Part 2

As promised, I had some family members take some pictures!

So we had to add flour to the potato dough:

Then we had to roll it into balls and then roll it out:


Next we baked/grilled!
 
 

They had to be cooked individually, but the finished product was cooled and put into zip lock bags.


There were of course, some shenanigans in the kitchen during the process:

Selfie!

With Grandma <3

Someone decided to put flour on my face. I have to admit, it was amusing. So I retaliated and put some on my mom's face.

 

 

And that was basically, my whole Saturday. What kind of shenanigans do you get up to while cooking or baking?

 

With Love,

PolarBearMoose<3

Learning to Make Lefse: Part 1

So, before I begin, I should start by catching you all up on the week. So, Keegan had his birthday party with all his friends on Wednesday at Pump It Up. Well, he decided that he wanted both little AND big Nathan to be there. So NH (aka Big Nathan) was there, with Gluten free cupcakes for some of K-2 (aka Keegan)'s friends that are gluten intolerant. So that was fun.

Today, my G'pa and G'ma Oregon came down from, you guessed it, Oregon. They came to both give Keegan a gift and teach both my mom and me how to make Lefse, a Norwegian bread. It's a potato bread instead of corn I guess and it's supposed to be a lot like a tortilla or flat bread. Well, anyways, today was a lot more prep for mixing and rolling out the dough. So we boiled the potatoes, peeled them, added a few other ingredients, and then it got fun. See apparently, the mixing is something you do by hand. Which means I got to stick my hands into this really goopy potato mix. It was essentially mash potatoes at that point, but I got to play with it! I wish I had taken some pictures, or at least had someone else take some pictures. I think tomorrow I will. Anyways, the mix has to be refrigerated all night, so I get to continue this tomorrow! I'll definitely have some pictures of the results at least, though I hope to have some of the rest of the process.

Other news of the day: I had a math test that I'm pretty sure I failed. Also, apparently, The Book Thief, a movie I've been waiting for since mid September, isn't coming to my area until November 15th, which sucks!! I got the book for my birthday after seeing a preview for the movie and going, "Oh, hey! That looks interesting!" So I read the book within the week of getting it (I'm a fast reader) as well as 5 other books I received. I absolutely loved the book. I really liked both the narrator and the fact that the story was not entirely chronological. It forced me to go back and re-read to try and figure out what I was missing and it definitely captured my attention. But anyways, the movie is being released today. I can't wait for it to start showing around here. Seriously. So excited.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot, but also on Wednesday, the dean of students (I think) and two coast guard members came to visit my anthropology class, as well as I guess the mayor? It made for a very interesting day. I guess they were having some sort of veteran's ceremony in the main quad since the campus will be closed on the actual Veteran's Day. I don't know. I couldn't stay for it, unfortunately. With Keegan's thing going on and me being a driver, I had o get home so I could shower and change into Kindergartener appropriate clothing. Meaning something that could survive wear and tear.

Anywho, how was your week? For those of you that know a lot about the culture you came from, do you have a favorite dish that your family likes to make? Let me know!

With Love,
PolarBearMoose <3

It's November!

Well, I feel pampered. Let's face it, as nerdy as I am, I'm also pretty girly. Friday, the first day of November, was my little brother's birthday, but before we all went to dinner, my grandma and I kind of had our own little day. We went and got mani-pedis. Which was truly relaxing ad a nice break from the craziness of classes and everything else. Keegan was excited for his birthday and being able to go to Bennihana's. I have to admit, I'm super glad he chose there: a) because normally he chooses the Fish Market :P and b) we almost never get to go out to Bennihana's because of the price, but their fried rice is one of my favorite things. Anyways, Keegan's birthday was a big success in the eyes of the little one. He had a super fun star-wars themed, well, everything including cake and gifts.

But back to being pampered. I had my hair done on Saturday because while the blonde and brown thing was nice for the summer, I needed something new for fall and winter.

Yeah! I got bangs! And it's a little darker than my natural hair color, but I really like it. Sorry about the quality by the way. It's from my ipod cause setting up my DSLR for a selfie seemed a little...extreme. Though, I do get some very nice quality selfies from that camera. Also the lighting in my room really stinks despite my best efforts. (I.e. the lanterns in the background that string around my whole room and other various lamps).
Anyways, after I got my hair all cut and stuff, I got to go shopping for some desperately needed jeans. It's getting cold! And I got rid of a lot of my jeans over the summer to make room for shorts. Whoops. But I now have jeans that I don't absolutely hate trying to pull myself into in the morning. Hooray!

Anywho, Saturday was spent pretty much just doing that. By the time my mom and I left the mall, we were both pretty thoroughly exhausted. Yes, I go shopping with my mom. She's my fashion advice expert.

Sunday, I headed out with Lauren to a Homestuck DS/Kigu/PJ meet-up. Which was a little bit better than Rocky Horror in the sense that I felt a little more welcomed by this crowd even though it was mostly the same people. I also found out that Rhea thought I was someone else when she saw me at school the past few weeks. The conversation as Lauren and I were leaving went something like this:

Me: So I guess I'll see you at school, Rhea?
Rhea: Wait, we go to the same school?
Me: Yeah....? I've said hi to you a couple times...
Rhea: Ohhhh!! You have a similar face to someone else I know, and I thought they were the one all of a sudden talking to me. That makes sense now.

Yeah. Fun times. Anyways, school today was just pretty much normal, although tomorrow I have my first midterm. But I won't bore you with the details of classes. Cause we really didn't do anything exciting today.

Okay, well, I have to go do some homework and studying before I go to college group, so with that, I bid you adieu!

With Love,
PolarBearMoose <3