Thanksgiving Week: Part 1

There are a few things going on this week that I want to talk about, and I'm probably going to make a few posts about it, so bare with me this week and we can all get through it.

For starters, quite a few alumni, specifically friends from my grade, have come home for the week, or at least part of the week. And I must say, I have been excited for this week to come since the day everyone left. I had nothing specific in mind of what I wanted to happen this week. It's not like I planned every second of every day and what kinds of shenanigans I could get into this week. I was honestly just excited to see everyone. But now that so many people are home, the excitement is gone. I've talked with a few people about this and they definitely helped me figure out the mess of emotions that I'm feeling. And I've realized, that before they came home, I had been feeling like I only had to hold everything together until people were home, then everything would all of a sudden be better. All of a sudden, I wouldn't feel so broken. I wouldn't need to hold myself together, because I'd be totally fine. And now that they're home, I still feel broken. That part hasn't changed. And I'm angry with myself for breaking down now. I mean, I'm glad that the people that I'm breaking down around are so supportive of me. But at the same time, I look at things like Facebook and everyone seems to be happy in college as though they're totally fine and moving on easily. Sometimes I see that and think I'm the only one struggling. After talking with my friend Travis, I know I'm not the only one, but I still feel like I have to put on a brave face and pretend everything's okay.

But that's just a piece of this week for me.

The other major part is Thanksgiving Day. Years ago, when Keegan was born, I made a trade-off. I knew I wanted to spend Christmas with him and watch him grow up. In order to spend Christmas with him though, it meant that I had to give a holiday to my dad. Specifically Thanksgiving. I figured, hey, it's really only one day. It doesn't make a huge difference or anything. If it were up to me, I'd spend every holiday with my mom. But this Thanksgiving, we'll be joined by my dad's girlfriend and her mother. not that I dislike his girlfriend, but it's a little awkward for me. Especially since she's 24. So that's part two.

I'll have to let y'all know how the week continues, but this is just kind of a piece of the week. Hopefully, y'all are all having a better week.

So I'll bid you adieu for now.

With Love,
PolarBearMoose <3